Madcap Mayhem
by NCIS-Ziva-Abby
Summary: Decided to write this based on a discussion I had with tumblr people in a Warehouse 13 chat room. When an artifact is activated and the actors meet the characters what could possibly go wrong?
1. Chapter 1

This is set in a perfectly normal universe where Steve and H.G. are (still) at the Warehouse and everyone likes each other and nothing and no one is dead and/or going to the dark side or trying to kill people and there is no formidable evil and everything is simply splendid. So basically, AU. There may be some Myka/H.G. in this, I don't know yet, but other than that, no intentional pairings, just the typical character interactions and whatnot. I'm completely up to suggestions on where to take this so feel free to offer/ask and I'll do what I can. A few of the ideas in this come from the folks in the tumblr/chatzy Warehouse 13 chat (sorry I can't remember who all was there by name) so a shout out to you all if you're reading this! Thanks and enjoy the crackiness! Also, this first bit is really short but I anticipate the next ones being longer. Stay tuned (they'll be up eventually)!

* * *

"Hey, Pete?"

Claudia held up a trash can and the man in question turned around, a few cookie crumbs falling from his face to the floor. They were standing in the 'Pete Cave,' and said trash can was piled to the brim with empty cookie packages.

"What?" He smiled sheepishly. "They were really good cookies."

Claudia smirked and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, tell that to Artie when he goes looking for them later and finds his 'secret' stash completely empty."

Pete looked offended. "I left him one!"

"Sure." She set the bin down. "Have you seen Steve anywhere? He went looking for H.G. earlier and now I can't find him."

"Nah, I haven't." He shrugged, swiping the back of his hand across his mouth. "Did you check the library? I think Myka's there. H.G.'s probably with her."

"Will do." Claudia turned to go, but something on one of the chairs caught her attention. "What is _that_?" She jabbed a finger at the object. It looked like a neon green square of canvas hanging off the edge of the seat.

Pete looked surprised. "Oh, uhh..."

"Is that an artifact?" she asked, eyebrows raised.

"Psh. _No_," he replied, though his tone indicated otherwise. "It's - it's..."

"An artifact. Dude, you've gotta quit playing with these things."

Pete held his hands up defensively. "Relax! It's harmless. Watch." He walked over and grabbed the canvas off the chair.

"No-" Claudia slapped a hand to her forehead and sighed as the older Warehouse agent flapped the artifact around. He held it up like a matador with a red sheet and started scuffing his feet and snorting. She rolled her eyes, but dropped her hand, as there didn't appear to be any blatant ill effects to his artifact tomfoolery.

"What even is it, anyway?" she asked once he'd settled down.

"A piece of the first green screen. You know, like they use in movies? I found it in one of the aisles that hasn't been set up all that digital stuff yet." He tossed the piece of green screen back onto the chair, where it dangled precariously. "You should really get on that, by the way."

Claudia scoffed in response.

"Anyway, I told you it was harmless. It does nothing. I don't even know why it's in the Warehouse."

The redhead furrowed her brow. "Why'd you bring it to the Pete Cave? If it doesn't do anything?"

Pete threw up his hands as though it should be obvious and made his way to the mini fridge in the corner, bumping the chair as he passed. "I thought it would look cool in here!"

"Of course you did," she replied, tone condescending.

At that moment, the artifact slid off the chair and landed flat on the concrete floor with a dull _slap_, green side up. It began to glow, filling the Pete Cave with an intense bright light as Pete and Claudia stumbled back, shielding their eyes.

"Uh oh."

"Not good!"

With a final flash, the glowing stopped. The two of them glanced back at the artifact, dazed eyes wide with surprise.

"What...the..._frak_..."

"_Really_ not good."

* * *

Okay, so I was thinking that maybe I'd make this the prologue or something and the next chapter would be the last and just be really long (it would take me longer, but you'd get it all, instead of having to wait and wonder when the hell I'll be uploading again). Let me know what you think.

Side note: For those reading "Taken" (another of my fics), don't worry your pretty little heads. I'll be getting the next chapter up soon. As for my other stories, if you're reading those, I have no idea when I'll update next, sorry. I have excuses, but you probably don't want to hear them. However, I thank you for sticking with me (if you still are, that is)!


	2. Chapter 2

I know. I'm a terrible updater. But life and writer's block get in the way, so I really never know when or what I am going to update. Sorry this chapter is pretty short, but I wanted to get you guys SOMETHING, and I figured while I was sitting here procrastinating on three essays and a load of other schoolwork, I might as well update one of my fics. So here you go, hopefully it's enjoyable and thanks to those who followed, favorited, and/or reviewed.

* * *

_...the artifact slid off the chair and landed flat on the concrete floor with a dull _slap_, green side up. It began to glow, filling the Pete Cave with an intense bright light as Pete and Claudia stumbled back, shielding their eyes._

_"Uh oh."_

_"Not good!"_

_With a final flash, the glowing stopped. The two of them glanced back at the artifact, dazed eyes wide with surprise._

_"What...the..._frak_..."_

_"_Really_ not good."_

* * *

There followed a baffled silence as Pete and Claudia stared at the newly-appeared people in the Pete Cave. They stood beside the chair, in place of the green screen artifact, which they could no longer see.

This was very, very bad.

Deciding that _someone_ had to do something, Pete moved away from the mini-fridge and towards the two people in the middle of the room. Before he was close enough to touch, Claudia shook her head vigorously in warning, stopping him in his tracks. The people were, as far as they could tell, identical copies of Pete and Claudia, the only apparent difference being that the copies wore different clothes. They all stared at one another, entirely silent.

So it startled Claudia when copy-Pete suddenly spoke. "What the hell? Did I get knocked out in that last stunt, or something?"

"Not unless I did, too, and we're having the same dream," copy-Claudia replied.

"Who _are_ you people?" Claudia spoke up, still eyeing them warily.

"We could ask you the same thing," said copy-Pete. "'Cause unless they've started using long-lost twins as stunt doubles..." he trailed off, seemingly at a loss for words. It wasn't very Pete-like, but then again, none of them was saying much of anything.

"So..." Pete began, "Are you guys, like, clones? Where exactly did you come from?"

"Do you remember anything before appearing here?" Claudia added.

Copy-Claudia frowned. "Yeah. We were on set shooting a scene and then-"

"Woah, woah, wait." Pete held up his hands. "'On set'? What the heck does that mean?"

Copy-Pete gave the real Pete a funny look. "On set, like... Like on set. Come to think of it," he turned to copy-Claudia, "we were definitely _not_ on the Pete Cave set."

"Okay," Pete interjected loudly. "Something is really wrong here. We don't know anything about that artifact, so until we _do_," he turned to Claudia, suddenly very serious, "Claudia, guard the door. We can't risk these guys getting out into the Warehouse. These things are always freaky. Remember Myka and the Alice mirror?"

Claudia nodded and slid over to block the doorway.

Copy-Pete and copy-Claudia laughed hesitantly. "You guys aren't serious, right?" copy-Pete asked. He received only serious looks in response. "C'mon, artifact, the 'Warehouse,' using character names-"

"'_Character_' names?" Claudia interrupted. "Dude, what are you talking about?"

"All right, hold up," Pete interjected. "Where were you _before_ you were here?"

"On set. We told you that," said copy-Claudia.

"Okay," Pete stretched the word out. "And where is that?"

The copies' faces took on looks of baffled amusement.

"Toronto," copy-Pete answered.

"Canada?" Claudia asked, disbelief coloring her tone.

"Yes," said copy-Claudia. "Is that not where we are now?"

Claudia ignored the question, asking, "Why Canada?"

Copy-her shrugged. "That's where we film the show."

Pete and Claudia made eye contact across the room as the latter spoke. "Which show...is that?"

Copy-Pete raised his eyebrows. "Don't you already know? _Warehouse 13_. This is the set... Isn't it?"

"This is South Dakota," Claudia said after a moment of tense silence.

"Warehouse 13," Pete continued, sweeping his hand in an all-encompassing manner. He gestured to himself, then Claudia. "I'm Pete Lattimer. She's Claudia Donovan. And you two _poof_ed out of freakin' nowhere when that green screen artifact fell on the ground."

"Wait a minute," Claudia said. "If you two _aren't_ us, then who _are_ you?"

Copy-Pete cleared his throat and said, "Eddie McClintock. I'm an actor."

Copy-Claudia half-raised her hand. "Allison Scagliotti. Same."

Pete and Claudia's eyebrows shot up into their hairlines. "Actors?" they chorused in disbelief.

"Yeah," copy-Pete - no, _Eddie_ - confirmed. "And the names you just gave us are the names of the characters _we_ play."

Claudia inhaled and spoke slowly. "In a TV show-"

"-called _Warehouse 13_," Pete finished.

His and Claudia's eyes met, widening in horror.

"The green screen," Pete squeaked.

* * *

In the library, just as Pete and Claudia in the Pete Cave were shielding their eyes from the blinding flash, so, too, were Steve, Myka, and H.G. And as quickly as it had appeared, the light was gone, leaving the three agents staring at their own 'duplicates.'

"Oh my God."

"What the-"

"Oh, dear."

The copies were less verbal, staring at their surroundings with expressions reflecting a mixture curiosity, confusion, and fright.

Copy-Steve spoke first of the three, turning to Steve and furrowing his brow as he asked hesitantly, "Shawn?"

Steve frowned. "...No?" he responded, voice tinged with uncertainty - not uncertainty that he was 'Shawn,' of course, because he wasn't, but uncertainty regarding the whole situation in general. It wasn't often that a copy of yourself, albeit in different clothing, appeared out of nowhere after a blinding flash of light. Or perhaps it was, considering they were at the Warehouse. He didn't really know for sure.

As Steve and copy-Steve eyed each other, H.G., inquisitive as always, strode up to her own aparrent-duplicate for closer inspection.

"Helena, wait-" Myka called, though to no avail. Having been the victim of a duplication once before, she was reluctant to approach, much less interact, with these... Whatever they were. Clearly, an artifact had been disturbed, and it hadn't been the fault of any of the three of them. Pete, of course, was the obvious explanation.

"You guys, I think Pete did something." Myka rose from her chair, setting her book aside.

"Of course," Steve responded, eyes not leaving his duplicate. "It's Pete."

"'Helena?' 'Pete?'" Myka's duplicate repeated, surprised. To her left, H.G. reached out to lightly brush her fingers across copy-H.G.'s shoulder.

"Well, they're tangible," she concluded. "And, if I'm not mistaken, intelligent beings..." she trailed off, racking her brain for an artifact that could be responsible.

"What are you _talking_ about?" her duplicate exclaimed. "Of course we are!"

"Who are you people?" copy-Myka questioned.

"This looks like the Warehouse set," said copy-Steve, "but different somehow. And there isn't a library... Is there?"

"Well, the Warehouse is said to have a library section, but we've never had a set for one," replied copy-Myka.

"Hold on," Steve interrupted. "I'm confused. So, obviously an artifact caused this, but which one? And are these, like, clones, or... something else?

"I'm unsure as of yet," H.G. said, circling her baffled duplicate, "but I'm guessing it's 'something else.'"

"Do you think they're dangerous?" Myka asked.

"We can hear you, y'know," copy-H.G. interjected. "We're right here."

"And we're not dangerous, either," copy-Myka declared. "If anything, _we_ should be wary of _you_. One minute, we're filming a B&B scene, and the next, we're in a completely different place with people who look just like us and are using character names and talking about artifacts!"

"This is really weird," copy-Steve added, unnecessarily.

Steve scoffed. "Yeah, you're tellin' me."

Myka narrowed her eyes. "Wait, you said 'character names'? And 'filming'? Are you actors?"

H.G. grinned widely. "This is fascinating. I don't believe I'm familiar with the artifact that caused this."

Copy-Myka frowned. "Yes. We are." A pause. "And you?"

"Ah, no..." Steve shook his head. "No, we're not actors. We're... Special agents."

"Okay," Myka said, drawing everyone's attention. Her brow furrowed, the corners of her mouth turned downward in a slight frown, one could almost see the cogs turning inside her head. "Okay," she repeated, starting to pace, fingers tangling together as she worked through it in her head.

"Myka, darling..." H.G. reached out, but didn't stop the other woman's pacing. When Myka was in this state, it was best to just let her think.

After a minute, the pacing ceased and Myka spun on a heel to face the others. "The artifact." Her hands came up and forward, fingers splayed, as though holding an invisible object.

Eyebrows rose.

"It's... Don't you see?" She waved a hand in the space between herself and the others.

"No, Myka, not quite," H.G. replied.

"Not at all," Steve added.

The 'duplicates' were quiet.

Myka's hands moved to her hips. Her eyes locked with H.G.'s as she said, "I think they," she gestured to the copies, "are actors that play us," she gestured between herself, Steve, and H.G., "in a television show base on our lives. Here. At Warehouse 13." Pause. "But... But I think the show doesn't exist. Not in our... Universe. I don't know. But the important thing is that whatever artifact Pete used - and I have little doubt that it WAS Pete - must have something to do with television or acting, because here _they_ are," she gestured again to the copies - the _actors_. "They're us... In a way. And the other actors must be around here somewhere. Probably with Pete and Claudia and whoever else might be here."

"Wow." Steve scratched his head. "Well, I've gotta hand it to Pete. When he screws up, he definitely screws up. Big-time."

"He certainly knows how to liven things up, doesn't he?" H.G. agreed.

They all chuckled. Leave it to Pete to find the most impossible thing in a place filled with the seemingly impossible.

Actor-Steve cleared his throat. "So then... You're Steve Jinks," he said, pointing to Steve. "And Myka Bering, and... H.G. Wells." He received three nods in the affirmative.

H.G.'s hands migrated to her hips and she flipped her hair over her shoulder, looking upward and grinning in delight. "This is bloody brilliant. I could never have imagined that such an artifact existed." She looked to the actors. "So what are your names, then?"

They introduced themselves in turn.

"Aaron Ashmore."

"Joanne Kelly."

"Jaime Murray."

Steve turned to Aaron. "Wait, so why did you call me-"

"It wasn't me, I swear!" Pete's voice floated into the library and interrupted them. Seconds later, he and Claudia appeared in the entryway wearing sheepish expressions. Their actors trailed in behind them, looking rather disconcerted.

"Hey." Claudia gave Pete a look. "Don't lie, dude. This is totally your fault."

"What? No way, that artifact was completely undisturbed until _you_ showed up."

Claudia raised her hands. "Don't put this on me. _You're_ the one who was flapping the thing around. Probably pissed it off or something."

"Well-"

"Hey!" Myka interjected. "What artifact caused this, Pete?"

Pete rubbed the back of his head. "Erm... A piece of the first green screen."

"We have that?" Steve asked, interest coloring his tone. Myka shot him a look. "Sorry."

"And did you two figure out who these people are?" Myka indicated the actors, who had clustered off to the side to watch in uncomfortable silence. She felt like a mother chastising two children.

"Yeah, actually, it's kinda awesome..." Claudia trailed off at her stare. "I mean no, not awesome at all, what do we do?"

"Have you neutralized the artifact?"

Pete chuckled, sharing a glance with Claudia that almost screamed 'we're screwed'. "Hey, y'know that's actually a funny story. Uh... We can't find it."

Myka pursed her lips. "What do you mean you can't find it?"

Claudia shrugged. "It kinda...disappeared...after it did its thing. Not really sure what happened."

"Okay, this is bad."

Suddenly, Claudia's Farnsworth was buzzing at her hip.

The agents' eyes grew wide.

"Uh oh."

Pete pressed his palms together, donning his 'oh crap' expression. "Artie must have met his duplicate."


End file.
